Calling all bridesmaids – pay attention!  Whether you’re a sister, cousin, co-worker, or girlfriend – there is a simple code of ethics to follow when it comes to being a bridesmaid.

*Accept an invitation to be a bridesmaid only if you are excited about being in the wedding.  Do not accept out of guilt or because you feel obligated.

*Be available to shop with your bride if she asks.  When I was in my friend Amy’s wedding several years ago,  we spent an entire summer crashing wedding sites on Saturdays to see what they looked like all set up for an event.  We had such a great time, and it made me feel like I had a special part of helping her plan her wedding.

*Let your bride take the lead when shopping for bridesmaid dresses.  Talk to her about her vision before grabbing dresses to try on.  Yes, we want you to look fabulous, but your bride has an idea in mind regarding the overall look of her wedding.  Support her in that vision (see Jenni’s blog on her yellow wedding that never happened).

*Don’t complain to your bride about any of the following:

  • Your attire
  • The guy you are assigned to walk with down the aisle (more on the boy ethics below)
  • How much money you’re spending on her shower/parties/bridesmaid dress/wedding gift
  • Her family (you know the rule – you can vent about your own mother but no one else can)
  • How fat you think you are (especially if you smaller than the bride….that is straight up terrible)
  • Wearing heels (get a pair and practice at home – unless you get lucky and can go barefoot on the beach)
  • The venue of the wedding or rehearsal dinner
  • The food at the reception
  • The groom (even if he’s your brother or BFF)

*Bring a date to the wedding only if you’re in a relationship.  Remember – each head at a wedding is costing the bride/groom/family an average of $100.  Before you bring a date, ask yourself if you would buy that guy a $100 meal. 

*Speaking of boys…if you are single a wedding is a great place to meet someone.  That said, do it tastefully and save any overnight adventures for a different evening. 

*Offer to help all along the way, and be a sounding board, shoulder to cry on, and fabulous pal for girls’ nights out.  If you’re married, you know what I’m talking about.  If you haven’t had your own wedding yet, this is very good karma for your future wedding planning.

*You know that song, All You Need is Love?  Make that your motto.

I just realized I could go on and on with this stuff, but I’ll leave it at that so as not to scare anyone away from accepting the honor of being a bridesmaid.  🙂   If you are genuinely excited to be in this wedding, you will likely not have to worry about anything.  Just be your naturally wonderful self and have fun celebrating this time in your bride’s life.

-Keri

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