The first nine times I was a bridesmaid, I was just that – a bridesmaid.  Then my best friend, Jen, asked me to be her Maid of Honor.  I was so excited to have coveted this role – to get to be the one to plan her bridal shower and bachelorette party, and to stand right next to her as she said her wedding vows.  That was until someone reminded me that my wedding was a few months before Jen’s, and that I would technically be her “Matron” of honor.  WHAT?  Matron?  When I thought of the word, I felt old and wrinkled, washed up like some lady with 10 kids who stopped washing her hair from being so tired.  I was only 35, but being a “Matron” was making me feel much closer to 65.  It made me want to change my wedding date.

Spending most of my life following rules, I do tend to break them if I deem necessary.  When Jen asked how I wanted my title to appear on the program, I told her to rebel and go with Maid instead of Matron.  After all, I was still just a newlywed myself – surely there was some sort of statute of limitations regarding this.

I thought nothing of it, until at the wedding, two different people said something to me about how I wasn’t technically a “Maid” of Honor anymore, but a “Matron”.  Are you kidding me?  I got called out on a technicality? 

It got me  thinking – who decided (umpteen years ago, I’m sure) on this rule of wedding lingo?  I did some research via Google, and was surprised to see that this topic was all over the place.  I found ‘expert’ advice, opinions, etc.  In the end, I concluded that these terms were made up in the days when women wore corsets, and that you should be called whatever you want to be called.  Maybe we should just start a new, more modern title – “Diva of Honor”.  Any other ideas?

Below – Jen and I as each others’ Maids of Honor. 


 Photo by April Greer

Jen3Photo by Harrison Hurwitz